


The Brothers Elric, In A Phantomhive's Tale

by FullBladderLemons (orphan_account)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Comedy, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Gen, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:52:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8836447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/FullBladderLemons
Summary: A crossover where Ed and Al are sent by the Fuhrur to serve the Queen of England, by assisting her watchdog, Ciel Phantomhive in finding his beloved butler, who has gone missing. When they arrive in England, will they be able to help Ciel and find Sebastian? Or will they uncover more than they want to know?





	1. His Brother, In England

“So, what you’re telling us is that we have to pack up everything and go out to England and protect some kid that lost his butler-on the drop of a dime- just because the Fuhrur Bradley wants to kiss up the Queens ass?” Ed barked at the Colonel. 

“Brother!” Alphonse scolded him.

“Watch your tongue, Elric.” Mustang handed him a small stack of papers. “This ‘kid’ is only two years your junior. And you made a commitment to serve the military in any way the Fuhrur needs you to- which means, yes, go pack your bags, boys. You’re heading out to England.”

Outside of Central, Ed and Al got into a military car as Ed began to grumble, “I’m real sick of that Mustang giving me these kind of jobs. It’s like he gives me the ones that keep me the farthest away just to get in the way of our research.”

“It’s not that bad, Brother. We’ve never been to England before, and who knows? Maybe this ‘Ciel’ really needs our help.” Al responded, “Don’t you like to help people, Ed?”

Ed groaned and plastered his head against the window, anticipating the long journey ahead.

By the time the brothers arrived in England, they had spent over a week travelling in cars and on trains. Ed was ready to get their mission over with and get back to Amestris. The air was damp and cold, and rain seemed not to fall periodically, but instead drizzle constantly from the grey sky.

“Wow…” Alphonse murmured as the car pulled up to the large estate.

Edward gaped at the mansion as well. “This place is massive.” He added.  
The two got out of the car and walked up the front steps, Al’s armor clanking loudly against the stone steps. The brothers were greeted at the door by a small girl with short red hair and large glasses. She was dressed in what seemed to be a maid’s dress.

“Ello, welcome to the Phantomhive Estate. ‘Ow can I help you?”

“Hi, we’re the Elric brothers. We’re here to help Ciel Phantomhive find his…butler.” Edward explained.

“Oh…oh! Yes, of course!” The girl stepped back and motioned them inside the mansion. The grand entrance was just as impressive as the outside of the manor. 

“Whoa…” Ed mumbled. Both brothers gaped at the staircase before them.

“Ah, would you like me to take your coat and, er, armor?” She asked sheepishly.

Edward shook his head. “No, thank you. My brother has to keep his armor on as…part of our training. And I get cold.”

“Right, then.” She gave the brothers a strange look. “Please follow me. I’ve tea made for you in the library. You can wait there while I fetch the young master.”

The brothers followed the girl, whom they assumed to be a servant, up the grand staircase. They were lead down a long hallway, full of many ornate doors. They finally reach a set of double doors, which the girl opened for the brothers. 

Inside the room were walls lined to the ceiling with books. In the center of the room, there was a table with four velvet chairs. A large fireplace was lit on the far wall, and a tray of tea sat near the table.

The maid pulled out a chair for each of the brothers and clumsily placed a cup of tea in front of them each, along with a small pitcher of cream and a bowl of sugar cubes. “Can I get you anything else, Master Elrics?” 

Edward shook his head. “No, thank you.”

The maid bowed at the brothers and quickly left the room.

“She seemed…off.” Edward commented.

“Brother, she was probably thinking the same about us.” Alphonse said. “You saw how she looked at my armor.” He added, laughing.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Edward leaned back in his seat a bit. “Now, to wait for the ‘young master’ Ciel.” He chuckled, rolling his eyes.


	2. The Earl Phantomhive, Disgruntled

The doors to the library opened once more, and a young boy entered. His hair was black, he was wearing an eyepatch, but his exposed eye was a bright blue. He was dressed in the strangest fashion- shoes with buckles, high socks, and a green short suit decorated with ornate buttons.

The boy walked across the marble floor slowly, and the maid rushed to pull his chair out for him. Her hand were shaking as she poured his tea for him and placed it in front of him. “Thank you, Mey-Rin. You are excused. I will ring for you when I am finished here.” He addressed her.

Mey-Rin scurried from the room in a hurry, leaving the Elric brothers staring at the strange boy before them. The young lord took a sip of his tea and surveyed the pair in front of him. He glared at Alphonse with an expression of disdain. “Why are you wearing a suit of armor? Haven’t you been travelling?”

“Well, yes, it’s part of m-“Alphonse began, but was cut off by Edward.

“He has to wear it. Fuhrur’s orders.” He said quickly.

The boy turned his attention to Edward, giving him a similar, unsatisfied expression. “Right, it doesn’t matter anyway.” He took another sip of his tea. “I am the Earl Phantomhive, as you must know. I have requested that her Majesty send me the most qualified persons to assist me in finding my butler, Sebastian.” He looked them both up and down again. “I suppose that would be the pair of you.”

Ed didn’t like this little snob’s tone of voice. “I’m the state alchemist, Edward Elric. This is my brother, Alphonse. He is an alchemist as well. I’m sure you’ll find we are plenty ‘qualified’ to find your butler.”

Ciel shook his head slowly. “I don’t think you quite understand. Sebastian is not just any butler. He is an intricate part of this estate, and he has…skills beyond the average servant. He would not just leave, nor would he be easily taken away.”

 _Maybe he just left because you’re a goddamn brat_ , Edward thought to himself. However, out loud, he said “Then what do you think happened to him?”

Ciel straightened himself, glaring at Edward. “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be calling in a search party for him.” Ciel sighed deeply. “He has been gone for two weeks. I have already had my other servants contact anyone whom I thought may have been involved…They have turned up with nothing. However, there is one more person who they were unable to contact in terms of questioning.”

Ed’s blood was boiling, and he was trying to control his temper. Alphonse could see him ready to explode, and quickly asked, “Who is the person they couldn’t contact? Ed and I will find him.”

“His name is…Grell. He was the butler of my late Aunt.” Ciel explained.

“And why do you think Grell would know where your butler is? Were they friends?”

Ciel laughed softly and shook his head. “No, actually, Grell had a bit of a…obsession with Sebastian. A bit of a ‘kink’ for him, you might say. And even if Grell doesn’t know where Sebastian is, I could bet that he would be more than willing to assist in finding him, because of reasons stated prior.”

“Okay, so where do you think we could find Grell?” Edward asked impatiently. If all they had to do to find Ciel’s butler was to find this first butler, how hard could it possibly be?

“You could start by finding a man called William T. Spears. He could be considered to be…Grell’s keeper, of sorts.”

Edward sighed. “Okay, and where can we find him?” Edward was getting annoyed with this task, which seemed to be a trail of finding someone in order to find someone else in order to find Sebastian. Why was he always given these pointless, convoluted missions?

Ciel scoffed. “Don’t you think that if I knew that, I would have sent my servants out after him?” He pulled out a folded and sealed piece of parchment from his jacket pocket, placing it on the table and pushing it towards Edward. “Here. Go speak with an informant of mine. This is his address and all the information you will need. At the bottom, there is a phrase written. When he asks you for his payment…Just read him what it says.”

Edward took the paper and hastily shoved it into his pocket. “Great, so, is that all the information you have for us? If so, we’ll get started right away.”  
Ciel nodded. “Of course, I will be sending you with my personal carriage driver, who will attend to all of your lodging needs and meals while you are out finding Sebastian. Anything you need, just tell him, and he will provide you with it.”

Ed gaped at Ciel. “Carriage driver? Don’t you mean car driver?”

Ciel laughed lightly. “I saw that contraption you pulled up in. If you would like, you may go searching in your own means of transportation. My carriage driver cannot operate those…things, but he will gladly accompany you and your driver.”

Ed didn’t even bother to ask why England was so far behind, he simply nodded and stood. “Your driver should come with us in the car. It will be much quicker.”

Ciel nodded and reached behind him, pulling on a string that made a distant bell ring. Within a minute, Mey-Rin rushed back into the room, bowing at Ciel. “Mey-Rin, have the driver prepare for a journey. He will be accompanying our guests in their…car.”


	3. The Brothers Elric, Unamused

“There’s something off about this, Al.” Ed muttered to his brother as they got back into the car. Ciel’s driver was seated in the front with the driver that had been travelling with the brother’s since Amestris. 

“Let’s just find his butler so we can go back home, Brother.” Al suggested. “What’s that paper say, anyway?”

Ed pulled the paper from his pocket and broke the wax seal. Inside was an address, and as Ed’s eyes travelled to the bottom of the page, his face turned a beet red. He quickly folded the paper and shoved it back into his pocket.

“What did the paper say, Brother? Why is your face all red?” Al questioned him.

Ed shook his head, a look of horror claiming his face. “You don’t want to know, Al.”

“The Under Taker?” Al’s voice sounded more than concerned as they read the large sign outside of the building.

“Why the hell are we at a funeral parlor?” Ed muttered. “I’m telling you, something is off about this entire thing.” Frustrated, Ed motioned for Alphonse to follow him, and entered the building.

The room was dark and there was a dank smell in the air. “Hello? We’re here to see someone on behalf of Ciel Phantomhive.” Ed called out.

There was no answer. The room was decorated with coffins and shelves lined with bottles and urns. Ed’s eyes travelled across the length of it, scanning for anyone who could help them. “Hello?”

“Ye-es?” The voice was so close to Ed’s ear that he physically jumped, turning so suddenly that he fell backwards. He clapped his hands together, ready to use his alchemy.

The man he saw in front of him was just as creepy as his surroundings. Dark robes, a tall hat, and hair grey and long- so long that it covered his eyes. “W-what did you do that for!” Edward exclaimed, dropping his hands to his sides.

White teeth gleamed mischievously from the man’s mouth. “So sorry. I did not mean to frighten the pair of you.” He stepped closer to Al, knocking gingerly on his armor. “Hmm.” He murmured, examining him.

“Uh, we’re here to get information for Ciel Phantomhive.” Ed told him.  
The man turned toward Ed cautiously. “Mmm, the Queen’s watchdog. He usually comes himself…”

“Well, he sent us this time. Do you know where Grell or William T. Spears is? Ciel’s butler has gone missing and he thinks Grell may know where he is.” Ed pressed.

The man flashed a smile again. “Oh, I could tell you exactly where Grell is…However, the young Earl knows how I operate. I will need my payment up front.”

Ed glanced at his younger brother, his face growing warm again.  
“Well? Go on, entertain me.”

Ed huffed, and stepped closer to the strange man. He stretched up, and whispered what the note had read into his ear, blushing furiously.

The laughter that rang out nearly shook the coffins. Alphonse stepped away from the shelves, afraid one of the oddities might fall off and crash against his metal form. The man laughed and laughed, as the brothers stood watching him, Alphonse more confused than Ed.

“Ah…” The man finally settled down, holding his hand to his chest. “Now that was a good one!” He cleared his throat, slowly composing himself. “Grell…Has been right under the watchdog’s nose. He has been residing with his fiancé, actually. I suppose he didn’t bother to ask his own betrothed on his wild search for Sebastian…” The man flashed another smile. “You’ll find Grell at the Midford Manor.”

“Ah…Okay. Thank you…We’re going to be going now.” Ed said quickly, shooing Alphonse out the door. 

When they stepped outside, the two stood against the door, trying to comprehend exactly what had happened inside the funeral parlor. “Brother…I think he was insane.” Alphonse finally said.

Ed nodded. “He was a lunatic.” He agreed. “And what 13-year-old has a fiancé?”

Alphonse was amused by this, and teased Ed, “You could have.”

“What are you going on about, Al?” Ed scowled.

“Winry.” He mocked his brother.

“Shut up, Al. Get in the car.” Ed shooed his brother away and approached the front of the car, where he told the drivers where they needed to go next.

“It’s getting late, Master Elric. I think it would be best if we paid our visit to Lady Elizabeth tomorrow.” Ciel’s driver suggested.

Ed looked at the sky, which was growing dark. “Okay, fine.” He agreed.  
The driver bowed. “We will find you appropriate lodgings for the night, young sir.”

Ed nodded and joined his brother in the car. “Looks like we’re heading in for the night, Al. We’ll go to the Midford Manor first thing tomorrow.”


	4. The Brothers Elric, Oh Bassie!

The inn that the Elric brothers were put up in was not like the little inns they had stayed at in Amestris. It was very large and grand, much like the Phantomhive Manor. The two were put in a room fit for royalty, and woke up to a room service cart filled with breakfast in the morning.

“Awesome!” Ed commented many times as he shoveled food into his mouth. Al took out his notebook and jotted down a few new dishes he wanted to try when he got his body back. The list was getting longer and longer as time went on.

When Ed had finished his breakfast, he got dressed and the two headed into the lobby, where both their driver and Ciel’s driver were waiting for them.   
“Good morning, Master Elric.” Ciel’s driver greeted Ed, bowing. “Good morning, Master Elric.” He repeated himself, bowing at Alphonse. “Are you ready to see Lady Elizabeth?”

“Sure.” Ed told him. The door to the car was held open for them, another thing the brothers were not accustomed to.

“This is so weird.” Ed commented as they drove out of town.

“Everything is so proper and fancy.” Alphonse added.

“Ciel Phantomhive might just be the richest person we’ve ever met, Al.”

“Mhm.” Al agreed.

The Midford Manor, like the Phantomhive Estate, did not aim to disappoint. Edward and Alphonse gaped as they pulled up, astonished by its size and ornate appearance. “Is everyone in England filthy rich?” He mumbled, opening the door to the car. 

Ciel’s driver came around the car and bowed to them again. “Please wait here for a moment, young sirs. I will arrange for you to speak with the young Lady Elizabeth.”

The brother’s watched as the driver knocked on the door and exchanged a few hushed words with the servant who opened the door. The servant left for a few moments, and when he returned, the driver came back over to the brothers. “Please follow me.”

The Elrics followed Ciel’s driver into the grand entrance. It was just as daunting as the Phantomhive entrance. They were lead through the mansion and out a back door, into a courtyard. The courtyard was surrounded by a lush garden and covered with a lattice and canopy. Seated at an iron table was a young girl with blonde hair, extremely overdressed in a pink and lace gown.

“Lady Elizabeth, I am presenting you with the brothers Elric, here on behalf of your betrothed.” Her servant said, bowing at her. Ciel’s driver bowed to her, also. Alphonse glanced at Ed, who shrugged. Al bowed forward also, and Ed followed suit.

The young girl was pouting when they raised their heads. “Well, why didn’t Ciel come himself?” She crossed her arms. “He never wants to come and see me!”

“I’m sorry, my lady. I believe the sirs Elric are here on more of an official matter.” The servant pulled out two chairs for the brothers, who sat down gingerly. “Is there anything I can bring you, my lady?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “No, thank you.”

The servant and the driver both bowed at Lady Elizabeth and proceeded back into the manor. The young girl stared at Alphonse, her eyes wide. “Why are you wearing that armor?” Her voice was filled with curiosity, and not the judgement that Ciel’s had been riddled with. 

Alphonse answered calmly, “It’s for my training.”

Elizabeth looked confused, but did not press the matter. “So, what did Ciel send you here for?”

“He sent us here to look for Grell.”

Elizabeth’s eyes lit up. “Oh, Grell! Yes, he’s here. Why does Ciel want him? Ciel usually gets cross around Grell, see, because-“

Ed cleared his throat. “He needs to know if Grell has any idea where his butler is.”

Elizabeth frowned at Edward. “It’s very rude to interrupt a lady, you know.”

Edward’s face turned pink. “Oh, I-I’m sorry.” 

Elizabeth’s mouth curved into a smile again. “Well, it’s okay. Anyway, Ciel gets cross with Grell because he’s so silly sometimes. But he is just so adorable! He lets me dress him up however I like, he likes it! He’s so much fun!”

“Ah, uh, that’s good.” Ed stammered. “So, where is Grell? Could we see him?”

“Wait…Ciel doesn’t know where his butler is? You don’t mean Sebastian, do you?” Elizabeth furrowed her brow. “Sebastian never leaves his side!”

Ed nodded. “Yeah, Sebastian is gone. Ciel asked us here to England to help find him.”

“Oh my, that’s positively awful!” Elizabeth then shouted, “Grell! Grell, are you in the garden? Come here!”

A soft giggling began from a patch of flowers. Out popped a flamboyant, red-haired figure with a huge grin across his face. Edward’s eyes widened at the man, trying to process why the man was hiding in the garden, giggling manically, and wearing a blue dress, to boot. “Oh, my lady, did you call for me?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Grell, Sebastian has gone missing!” She exclaimed.

“Oh…” Grell’s hand flew to his face dramatically, and he dropped to his knees. “Oh, no! Oh, Bassie! My poor Bassie!”

“Uh…” Ed glanced at Alphonse. “So…Grell…I’m guessing you don’t know where he is, then?”


	5. The Reaper Grell, Disappointed

Grell’s dramatics came to a halt and he flashed a mischievous grin at Edward. “Oh, no. I never said that. Of course I know where my darling Bassie is!”

Ed’s face grew red with anger. “Then where is he?” He raised his voice in exasperation. 

Grell pouted, twirling his bright red hair with his finger. “Well, I can’t tell you that!”

Ed clenched his teeth, ready to beat Sebastian’s location out of Grell.

Alphonse said, “Calm down, Ed. Why can’t you tell us, Grell?”

Grell giggled, reaching over and lightly knocking on Al’s armor.

“Hmm…You’re a bit odd, aren’t you?” He sighed, his hand moving back to his forehead. “I can’t tell you, because then that Phantomhive boy will take him away! He keeps my dear Bassie all to himself!”

Ed’s hand moved to his forehead, also, and he groaned loudly. “Well of course he’s always with Ciel, he’s his butler!” Ed shouted.

Grell began to giggle, shaking his head. “Oh, is that what you think?”  
Ed glanced at Elizabeth, who was also looking at Grell curiously. “What do you mean, Grell?”

Grell shook his head vigorously. “It’s nothing for a Lady to hear. Mm-mm. My dear Lady Elizabeth, it would break her heart so.”

“W-what do you mean, Grell? Has Sebastian hurt my Ciel?” Elizabeth looked close to tears.

Ed had finally had enough. “Okay, I’m done messing around. Ciel is looking for Sebastian, so I’m here to find out where he is.” Ed ripped the glove off of his automail hand and clapped his hands together, moving his human hand up the length of his automail arm and forming it into a sharp point. “Where is Sebastian?”

Elizabeth gasped, jumping up from the table and backing away from Ed. Grell screeched, “What the heck is that? Oh! How did you do that?”

Elizabeth began to cry and backed further away from Ed, running to the door of the mansion. Alphonse yelled after her, “Lady Elizabeth, it’s okay, he’s not going to hurt you-“But she ran inside, slamming the door behind her. “Ed, you scared the girl!” He scolded his older brother.

“I don’t care, Al. Where’s Ciel’s butler, Grell?” Ed pointed his transmuted arm at Grell. “You’ve got three seconds.”

“Brother, you can’t-“

“Three…”

“Young man, let’s be reasonable here-“Grell began backing away from Edward.

“Two…”

“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you where he is!” Grell covered his eyes with his hands and dropped to his knees, bracing for Ed to charge at him.

Ed sighed, dropping his hands to his sides. “Alright then, where is he?”

Grell dropped his hands, pouting at Ed. “Don’t you even care what he really is?”

Ed shook his head, clapping his hands together and changing his arm back to normal. “Nope, not really. Let’s go get him.”

Grell huffed, standing up slowly and picking Ed’s glove up off the ground. “Here.” He said miserably, handing him the glove. 

“Thanks.” Ed slipped his glove on.

Grell then proceeded to unzip the back of his dress, thankfully revealing another set of clothes underneath. Ed glanced uneasily at his brother. “What the hell?” He silently mouthed to Alphonse.

“Well, here we go. A shame you don’t know what you’re getting yourselves into.” Grell sighed, waving for them to follow him. Edward shrugged off a sudden feeling of apprehension as he and Alphonse followed Grell into the garden.

The trio walked through what seemed like acres of lush greenery and flowers. The rain they had seen of England was not present today, and butterflies and bees were hovering over the plants. They finally came to a large brick structure. The door was decorated with chains and locks, and the windows were boarded up.

“Well, here we are.” Grell sighed, taking a ring of keys from his pocket. He began working on the locks, opening them one at a time until the chains fell to the ground. Grell frowned at the brothers. “I wish you’d just let me keep him.”

Ed rolled his eyes and pushed past the pouting red-head, and gingerly twisted the handle of the door.


	6. His Butler, Retrieved

The room was dimly lit and a bit stuffy. Ed coughed and scanned the room, his eyes finally resting on the wall, where a man in a suit was shackled to the wall. “Sebastian?” He asked.

The man raised his head slowly, glancing from Grell to Ed and then to Alphonse. “Yes, how can I help you?”

Ed’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Ciel sent us to come get you. What happened to you?”

Sebastian sighed deeply, and then chuckled lightly. “Oh, thank goodness. My young master has put me in quite the predicament, indeed.”

“Well, how did you-“

“Don’t leave me, Bassie!” Grell threw himself across the room and to his knees, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s legs and whimpering. “You won’t leave me, will you Bassie?”

Sebastian’s brow twitched. “Young sirs, you have been ordered by my master to find me and see that I return to him?”

“Yeah, he-“

“Wonderful.” Sebastian kicked his shackled legs out forcefully, breaking the shackles on his ankles and sending Grell flying across the room. “Then I suppose that is an order.”

“No, Bassie!” Grell shouted, and Sebastian ripped his arms from his shackles just as Grell pulled something from the corner of the room.

Ed shouted “Al, get out of here!” When he saw what Grell possessed- a chainsaw.

“No need for that.” Sebastian flew out from the wall as Grell revved his chainsaw.

Ed clapped his hands together quickly. He bent down and placed his hands onto the floor, causing the wooden planks to pop out of place and Grell to lose his balance. He fell backwards, and Sebastian charged at him. Alphonse backed against the wall, grabbing Ed’s arm and pulling his brother with him.  
When the commotion ended, Ed gasped loudly. He saw Sebastian’s hands planted firmly on either side of the chainsaw, the sharp chain still running. 

“Now, Grell.” Sebastian said sweetly. “I thought you weren’t permitted to modify your scythe.” He turned to Ed and flashed a smile before breaking the chainsaw in half with his hands.

“What the hell!” Ed shouted, trembling.

“Oh, Bassie, not my death scythe!” Grell screeched, pouting and whimpering.

Sebastian clicked his tongue in distaste. “The Dispatch will not be pleased to hear of this.” He told Grell.

“Oh, no! No, Bassie, please don’t tell! William will be absolutely livid!”  
Sebastian shook his head, stepping past Grell and offering his hand to Edward, who was still crouched on the ground. “My apologies, sir. I am Sebastian Michaelis, butler of the Earl Ciel Phantomhive. I must express both my deepest sympathies for my rude behavior and also my gratitude for taking the time to come retrieve me.”

His hand was not bleeding at all, despite grasping a moving chainsaw moments before. Ed trembled as he took Sebastian’s hand, standing slowly and whispering, “What are you?”

“I am simply…One hell of a Butler.” Sebastian smiled warmly and gestured towards the door. “Shall we return to my young master and get your payment in order? I’m sure you will be rewarded handsomely for your time.”

In the car, Sebastian sat in the back with the Elric brothers. “Excuse my formality, but the two of you have not introduced yourselves.” He reminded them.

Ed nodded, still in a state of shock. “I’m Edward Elric and this is my brother, Alphonse. We came from Amestris on the Queen’s orders.”

 

Sebastian nodded. “Then I must thank you, the brothers Elric, for so kindly fetching me.”

“How did you end up there? And why didn’t you break yourself free like you did in the first place?” Ed asked him suspiciously.

“Well, to understand that, you must first understand the way in which I serve my master. When he give me a direct order, I cannot disobey it.” Sebastian cleared his throat. “The young master must have forgotten that he sent me away in the first place. You see, a bit over two weeks ago, Lady Elizabeth was calling for him at the manor. My young master does not always have the patience for his fiancé.”

Edward nodded slowly.

“On this particular day, he did not want to see Lady Elizabeth and he ordered me to keep her amused for a while as he spoke with some prospective business partners in his study. He had told me that any order from the young Lady was to be taken as an order from him. The Lady grew bored of waiting, and told me to accompany her back to her estate. Of course, I did so. I was not aware, however, that Grell had been shirking his duties to instead play dress up with my master’s betrothed for the past month.” Sebastian paused, his face framed with disgust. “Lady Elizabeth wanted me to come inside and amuse her by teaching her to play chess. She soon grew bored of that, and called Grell over. She wanted him to…” Sebastian cringed.

Ed looked at the butler expectantly. “To…”

“To dress me up for her. It was absolutely…revolting.” Sebastian shuddered again. “Lady Elizabeth then grew bored of this also, and decided to leave me and Grell to ‘amuse’ ourselves. She told me to amuse Grell for a bit and then to go back to my master when he said that he was finished with me.” 

Sebastian sighed. “As you may have noticed, Grell has quite the unhealthy obsession with me. Rather than releasing me to my master, he chose to instead trap me in that garden shed. As for why I did not simply break myself free before your arrival- without a direct order from my master or Lady Elizabeth, I was unable to return to my master. The last order given to me was to amuse Grell, and he had told Lady Elizabeth that I had returned to the manor.”

“So what if you didn’t have a direct order from Ciel? You were pretty much kidnapped! Why didn’t you just leave without his orders?” Ed stammered, completely irritated with the stupidity of the entire situation.

“Master Elric, it is not simply a matter of my master’s orders. There is a contract. I am bound to Master Phantomhive until his contract is fulfilled, and I am physically unable to disobey his orders.”

“This doesn’t make any sense.” Ed argued.

“You have powers beyond the human realm, master Elric. The way you manipulated the floor of that shed with your hands. How your brother is nothing but a soul in a suit of armor. I suppose you could say that I have powers beyond the human realm, as well.”

Ed and Alphonse gasped. “How did you know-“

“I have a body, I just have to-“

“I am a demon, young masters. I cannot be fooled as easily as the humans you encounter.”

“A…demon!” Alphonse gasped, his voice wavering.

Sebastian raised his finger to his lips in a “be quiet” gesture. “We all three have secrets among us.” He smiled slyly. “I won’t tell, if you don’t.”

“What took you so long, then?” Ciel grumbled at the brothers in the grand entrance of his estate after being told the story of Sebastian’s whereabouts. “And you…” He glared at Sebastian. “What kind of butler are you anyway? Bested by Grell? What a disgrace.”

Sebastian bowed at Ciel. “Yes, young master. You are absolutely right.”   
Ciel scoffed in distaste. He turned to the brothers. “Thank you for retrieving Sebastian.” He handed Ed an envelope with a wax seal. “I do hope you have a pleasant trip.” The young lord turned away from the brothers and started up the grand staircase.

Sebastian bowed to the Elrics. “Good luck to you, Edward and Alphonse Elric.”

In the cab, Ed sighed loudly as they started their journey back to Amestris.  
“Brother?” Alphonse pressed.

“Yeah, Al?”

“You don’t think there are demons back home, do you?”

Ed groaned loudly. “We’ve got homunculi, isn’t that enough?” Edward leaned his head back and laughed heartily. “Let me tell you something, Al. If Mustang tries sending us to England again, I might just tell him to piss off. This was a wild ride, even for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had two endings in my head- one was more serious and then there is this one. I chose this one for some comic relief. I am considering posting my "alternate ending" eventually, but I am not sure yet (I have not written it yet, it is still floating around in my head). I hope you enjoyed the piece as a whole.


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